The Essence of Lola | Lola The Rescued Cat
Friday, February 16, 2024

The Essence of Lola

One month ago today I had to say goodbye to my beautiful Lola. It's still unfathomable to me that Lola The Rescued Cat is gone. Her larger-than-life personality and joie de vivre, rivaling any human's, should have given her 20 lives. Or at least more time than only 13 1/2 years on this earthly plane. 

Having a bond as deep and close as the one I shared with her made the decision to let her go infinitely harder because I felt like a piece of me was leaving with her.  For a while I knew we were living on borrowed, limited time. I also knew that I would miss her deeply when the time came, but I didn’t realize how deep the grief would be.

The night that Lola made her journey is somewhat of a blur. But I do remember the pain, loneliness, and bottomless feeling of emptiness. I felt empty because I couldn’t “feel” her. I wondered, “After 13 years (to the day) of sharing an incredible bond, how is it possible I can't feel her?”

"Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything."   C.S. Lewis

I slept in the clothes I was wearing on the last day I held her and the last time she laid on me; the clothes I wore when she made her transition. I could barely bring myself to take them off the next day. I felt those clothes contained the last of her energy, her spirit, her essence. I felt taking them off would mean I would be losing the love we shared and that our bond would be broken forever. And that I would never be able to feel her again no matter how hard I tried.

"As anyone knows who has lost an animal companion, the immediacy of the loss blows through you as if you were an abandoned farmhouse." Jackson Galaxy

As I placed my clothes that contained the last of Lola’s scent and fur into the hamper, I cried. Then suddenly, something I read on came to mind and a small sense of comfort came over me. (No doubt Lola's intervention.)

"Naps will never be the same." Ricky Gervais

When Lola came home forever in 2011 she was still very ill. The beginning of our bond started when I nursed her back to health and it continued to grow and strengthen over the years. Lola was my constant companion, my shadow, and was never far from me. There was rarely a night she was not in my bed or a morning when I didn’t wake up with her on top of me. She made sure that when I was under the weather she took over the role of nurse and rarely left my side.

Lola changed my life. Not only was she one of my greatest teachers, but she also got me involved in a wonderful cat community on Facebook, followed by joining the blogging community. I met one of my best friends through Lola, and we’ll be friends for life.

I hope she knows that one of her biggest accomplishments was turning me into a writer. Writing was something I never pondered. I didn’t even know that people had Facebook pages or blogs for their cats. She sparked a light in me that started in January 2011 and never stopped. We went on to write and publish her story, start a blog that has had a big focus on rescue, win numerous awards, and grow our Facebook community to over 12,000 followers. That’s all because of you, Lola, and the inspiration you gave me.

The information I read on was this: 

"Our energy is redistributed after we die...Energy cannot be created or destroyed. It simply changes states...In death, the collection of atoms of which you are composed (a universe within the universe) is repurposed. Those atoms and that energy, which originated during the Big Bang, will always be around. Therefore, your "light", the essence of your energy, will continue to echo throughout space until the end of time."

This uplifts me because it means Lola’s energy doesn’t live in the clothes I wore the last time I held her, or in her cat tree and little squishy pillow that now remain empty (and evoke sadness every time I look at them.)

It reminds me that her essence is in the sunbeams that warm Lexy’s fur as she naps in the window.

She lives in the ripples of water in the harbor that flows behind my building. She is the breeze that brushes my face, the faint rustling of the leaves in the trees, the snowflakes that fall gently to the earth, the twinkling stars in the sky, and the moonlight that bathes my balcony in a soft glow when I sit there at night. 

Lola's essence is in the sunlight that glistens like diamonds on the Long Island Sound,

and in the deep hues of orange and yellow in an evening sunset. 

Lola is in every fiber of my and Lexy’s being, in our memories, and in the pawprint she left on our souls. She lives in the hearts of the thousands of people she has touched, the animals she has helped, and every person who has entered my home and was on the receiving end of her never-ending kisses.

Lola is everywhere.

My soul is forever tethered to hers by an indestructible cord and our bond transcends time, space, and dimension. It will never be broken – it can’t be. I know this because she visits me, gives me signs, continues to flood my mind with writing ideas, and guides my life in new directions. All from beyond.

"Remember, that this will pass, and with time, you will form a new routine and new chapters of your lives will open."  Cesar Millan

Unfortunately, this doesn’t stop grief and the unbearable feeling of missing her from rearing their ugly heads. Sometimes, as I start to cry, my body is riddled with a bone-deep cold that makes me shiver from way down inside my core. As I try to shake this by taking a deep breath and focusing on my breathing, I’m enveloped by a sense of warmth. A recognizable warmth with a familiarity that is palpable. It’s as cozy as my favorite sweatshirt that I don on a chilly night and as comforting as that first sip taken from my morning mug of steaming hot coffee. It makes me feel safe and surrounded by love. As I take another deep breath, I realize why the feeling is so familiar.

The warmth is Lola. She is always with me, and I can feel her deep within my heart.

And I'm sure Lexy can, too. 


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  1. There are no words to add to your beautiful words. Your memories, feelings will last always ~ I know this in my own heart. They will sustain you and deepen your love as they lessen the sharpness of the grief of now. You were blessed by and with one another, that blessing is forever. Gentle hugs to you, Dawn. Fondly, Ann

  2. What a beautiful tribute to the lovely Lola. She brought you so much, and in return she was loved as we would all want to be loved. And yes, each and every friend who leaves takes with them a piece of our heart. Sending hugs.

    Comforting Purrs,
    The Chans (and #1)

  3. You are very kind to us to share your very feelings about Lola. I think each one of us pet owners has always had one special pet that makes that spot in life so special that we don't think we can breathe without them.

  4. Such a moving tribute to your special Lola and yes, she is everywhere and always will be. You'll feel her too, often when you least expect it. Hugs from all of us.

  5. Grief is a personal thing; one cannot explain it, just live it.
    When Angel Lola was on Earth, you and she actually exchanged atoms, so not only do you miss her in your heart and mind, you physically (on the atomic level) have a loss.
    Hugs and purrs.

  6. What beautiful words for beautiful Lola. You've written a loving tribute to your girl. Sending hugs.

  7. Your expression of what your girl meant to you and to Lexy is beautiful my friend. She purrs beside you always. She helped to add to my life and how I see it in a kaleidoscope of exquisite ways. Thank you Lola.

  8. Dearest Dawn,
    The day that I got your email after ordering your book, was special. Next day we would have one more Angel, our Speckie girl.
    Yes, it is very raw such grief but knowing that our souls will never die, we can accept that we will meet again. Such dear and loyal kitties or woofies really penetrated our lives and souls.
    That is forever!

  9. lola WILL always be by your side, ♥♥♥ and I know if she could speak "human" she would not only say, "thanks mom for everything", she would also say, "I love you too, and always will " this tribute post is beautiful ~~~
    ♥♥♥ we are honored to have known her, and call her friend ~~~~~ we hope lexi is doing OK ~~~~ ♥♥♥

  10. I know the deep awful overwhelming grief of losing our beloved and cherished fur baby. And I know how I miss all their attributes, and their love so much. It takes some time to not be so overwhelmed with sadness. But it does get bearable with time.

  11. Such a sweet, loving and beautiful tribute to your most precious Lola.
    Huge hugs!

  12. I'm sorry if this comment is a duplicate, I thought my prior comment posted. This is a
    beautiful tribute post for Lola, and I know if she were to speak "human", she would not
    only say, "thank you mom for everything", she would also say " I love you too " . We hope
    Lexi is OK ♥♥♥♥♥

  13. What a lovely and meaningful tribute to your beautiful Lola, Dawn. We send you purrs for continuing peace and comfort.

  14. This is a beautiful tribute to Lola, and the love pours out of your words. Hugs sent for you.

  15. What a beautiful and loving memorial to your sweet Lola. She will always be with you. Many hugs and purrs.

  16. Such a beautiful tribute. I agree that Lola's essence is everywhere. XO

  17. The stars are always in the heavens, but it's only when darkness comes that we notice their sparkle. She was always in all these things, and it's only now that she's not physically with you that you can see her presence there.

    Sometimes the moments of finding them in some experience, or a visit from them, made me so profoundly sad that I would cry harder than ever, feeling them near, not being able to touch them. Grief comes and goes in waves, and then once in a while the wave crests and you're overcome. I was driving an errand earlier this week and it caught me in my car, completely unexpected, I had to pull into a parking lot I was crying so hard and I couldn't even identify a trigger, which cat I was crying about if not all of my losses last year. At some point, it's not so bad. We are forever changed, but we won't suffer forever. Thinking of you in your journey.

  18. This is one of the most beautiful things I've ever read. She will never, ever be forgotten.

  19. Deer Dawn: BellaSita Mum here...I wanted to THANK YOU for this beautiful & heartfelt post & for all the wisdom you shared! I love the idea that when I look at a sunset I am seeing Purrince Siddhartha Henry....We used to walk at Twilight alot watching the Sun go down....
    The diamonds on the water is SO Lola an wee love the video. And we love Lola & always will.
    {{{hugss}}} BellaSita Mum (Sherri-Ellen) & ***purrss*** BellaDharma

  20. A perfect and beautiful memoriam for the lovely inspiring Lola. Thank you.

  21. That is the most beautiful tribute to sweet Lola. We are so choked up with tears it's hard to see the keyboard to write. The idea that our angel furbabies are always with us, surrounding us in the sunbeams, the stars, the breeze - is so beautiful, so comforting. You are surrounded by Lola's love, always and forever.

  22. I have tears in my eyes as I type this, Dawn. Such a beautiful tribute to your beloved Lola. Sending you love, and gentle purrs and prayers.

  23. What a beautiful memorial to Lola. I bet she was sitting on your shoulder and watching closely. It is so hard to let them go, but we have to do what is best for them. May you find peace in your wonderful memories, the friends you met and the writing. Thank you for sharing Lola with all of us.

  24. Beautiful written. She is with you, she always be there✨Soft Pawkisses to comfort you and Lexy🐾😽💞

  25. I commented on this post, I swear! That kitten picture of Lola is too much. Her heart certainly lives on in you and everyone she touched!

  26. Dearest Dawn and Lexy,
    Will continue reading tonight on page 84...
    Quite a story so far and I can envision things so very well.
    Yesterday I launched the 2nd post about our trip to Acapulco.
    It is my very tragic kitty story... with only such a short happy time for all the efforts and pain.
    Life often is not fair...
    Mariette + Kitties

  27. Dearest Dawn and Lexy,
    On Monday, April 30, I lost my dear Pieter before 8:00 AM. Spooky boy and Tiggy–Tiger were with him and Spooky till the very end. Tiggy–Tiger girl and her sister Spunky comforted me as they slept so close to me... Most people never will understand this bond! Spooky did sleep two more nights on the hospital bed where his Papi has slept 4 nights... They grief too!
    Mariette + Kitties


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